We all have something we’re waiting on. Something we’ve hoped for for months and sometimes even years. We grow impatient. We get angry. We do things out of our character for what we want.
Have you ever noticed, when you get the thing you want finally, it doesn’t seem as satisfying as you thought it would be? That’s probably because it wasn’t the time for it.
More often than not, as humans, as pleasure driven creatures, we grow impatient. Until recently we’ve been raised in a world that pushes for instant gratification. Things have become easier to access and obtain. We even expect a little more than what we bargained for.
Thinking out loud, as my own experience, I’ve noticed things are a lot more satisfying and “feel right” when they come into fruition organically. I’ve come to realize that divine timing is no joke. It’s there, its prevalent, and it knows more than you. It knows all the obstacles in your path and all the victories. It’ll adjust itself with ever change in your life. Divine timing isn’t here to please your every need. Divine timing is constantly working in your favour.
Realize that everything that needs to happen will happen. You will get what you deserve, either “good” or “bad.” Our only purpose is to remain true to ourselves and our path, and if we’re ever derailed from our path, divine timing will always push us back where we need to be. This is why its almost impossible to act like someone you’re not.
Personally, every time something “wrong” happens I try to engage with it. I try to understand what this moment and this situation is trying to teach me. Sometimes we just need to learn the lesson before we receive our gift. Sometimes we need to develop our skills and understanding before we receive that thing that we want.
Don’t rush what’s already yours. It’ll come when it’s the right time for you to have it. In the mean time, you have a whole life to enjoy.
Notice when you’re impatient and ask yourself “can I really handle what I’m trying to manifest?”
The last two weeks I’ve been trying to force myself to create again. I know I know, we shouldn’t force it. I understand creativity comes when it comes. But I’ve found if I don’t put in the effort, I can hermit creatively for years.
The other day I was sitting in my studio, staring at this pink paper, just mentally blank. I thought about my favourite mediums and what I actually ENJOY using. So I picked up some charcoal. Its messy, it’s dark, it’s intentional. A lot like my ego.
I realize I am held back from creating and from sharing due to my ego. I understand she occupies my mind and tells me everything I can’t do. But I want to understand why. I want to understand why she’s so ready to live in fear. So I talked to her. I asked her why she wants us to be hidden. I asked her why she can be so negative. Then I asked her if she’d help me achieve my goals and help me reach my dreams.
A lot of the time our egos hold us back. Lurking in the shadows of our mind, we don’t even notice it. I am working with my ego, negotiating with her, on how we can make our relationship work. How can I use my ego to be a driving force to put out my creative content? While a lot of the time ego is fear based, it’s also CONFIDENCE. We all know that person who is “egotistical,” who thinks they know it all, who thinks they’re God’s gift to this earth. And why? Because they have their ego working with them. They have confidence and they have drive to get what they want.
I’m working with my ego so she’s not just lurking in the shadows. I want to push her forward. I want her to take charge and show the world what ego is known for. I’m hoping we can have a happy and constructive relationship, but I understand this takes time.
Wow. I’ve neglected this blog for over 5 months. 5 MONTHS, that’s crazy. However, how can I be so surprised when I’ve neglected creating for over 2 years at one point in my life.
I’m writing this post to come back and say HELLO. I’m back. I miss blogging and want to be more active. I want to shake this feeling of imposter syndrome and share my experiences of being a creative and hopefully inspiring others.
A big thing for me when it comes to be an artist is provoking a feeling in others. Seeing people feel connected to my work is so important to me. I think it is truly a driving force for me to share my work with the world. Sometimes I feel like I’m giving an image to how one feels, and this to me, is a form of healing. To name a feeling, to give it a an image or a description means you’re able to face it and understand it. Understanding how we feel in turn helps us heal any trauma we have relating to said feeling.
I feel inclined, and now ready to share my spiritual mindset on my blog. I no longer want to separate my art and my spirituality. In fact, I’d like this blog to be a compilation of all things that take up my mind.
Thanks for checking in if you did! In the interim I’ll post art I’ve been making but failed to update here.
Xoxo, Ya girl Marty
I have finally finished my galaxy girl watercolour painting. This took me about 3 days to complete, sitting about an hour at a time. I wanted to take my time with this painting, something I normally don’t do!
Below I’ve included progress shots. This time I decided to plan this painting out before I started. Another thing I never do. It taught me a lot. I’ve been watching videos about how I can really hone in on my artistic abilities. And planning a painting out gave me a sense of direction. Again, not something I normally have a problem with because I usually draw or paint based off how I feel. But reaching in and capturing a feeling isn’t always easy, sometimes they are so deeply hidden.
So for the sake of producing art in hopes of not losing my artistic abilities, I decided to figure out alternative ways to drive my creativity. Although planning isn’t very, artistic, it’s an important building block to creating something. Just like you would do before building a house.
I predominately used watercolours for this painting. However I used white gouache paint for the stars and the moon. And I used a little white gel pen for highlight details for her face.
I hope you enjoy this one, she was really fun to make!
Started my day doing this drawing. I’m trying to take advantage of when I feel creative to just go get my sketch book and create something. With no expectations in mind. Not trying to make anything perfect. To simply create.
I’m also trying not to have the mindset that whatever I draw NEEDS to be put on social media. I’m allowing myself to draw, simply to do the act of drawing.
I hope I can keep this up! I’m hoping to improve my skills since I’ve neglected them for so long.
Have a good weekend friends
I really wanted to add watercolour to this but it was totally the wrong paper.
I have been feeling very creatively lately. Drawing all the time, but just silly sketches to get my hand used to it again.
Hoping I can post more, more often!
I’ve been feeling really inspired lately.
I did the painting above with gouache paint, something still relatively new to me.
I’m excited to be I this inspired energy and hope that means I’ll be putting out more content, watch this space!
Ya girl Teenz