Growing as an artist

This Sunday I will be sharing my art through a market stall at the Creative and Ethical Market in Mt Eden (473 Dominion Rd, 11am-4pm) and I have such mixed feelings.

I’m obviously extremely excited, but also slightly anxious. Just because I’ve never ever been comfortable even calling myself an artist in the first place. I feel some form of imposter syndrome when I call myself an artist, when I refer to my doodles as artwork etc… Early this year I decided I needed to stop stunting myself and give myself a chance. It’s been incredibly helpful that I have an amazing supportive husband to push me to do more with my work.

He found about the Creative and Ethical Market through Facebook and pushed me to message them to join. So I did. And here I am, on my way to showcase my work for the first time. I love sharing my work with others through online channels, I’ve been doing it for years, since I was about 15. It’s always given me some sort of validation, but I also love when people leave lovely comments about how my work makes them feel. For me, it’s never been about money or “fame,” it’s just enjoyable for me to share when I can. Hence why selling my work has always been a very taboo subject for me.

I struggle putting a price on my creations, not necessarily because I think they’re priceless. But because, again, I feel like an imposter, posing as an artist, giving people small parts of me that I don’t think are deserving of a value. I’m sure many other creators out there feel similarly. We go into hiatuses and delete our work from the web. We hide. I’m definitely guilty of falling off and going through long periods of not creating at all, because well, why. However, I’ve worked on my self confidence these last few years, I’m becoming more comfortable using the title of “artist” and “artwork.” And it’s important to me that the inner-self work I did (and with the support of others) has ultimately lead me to being able to feel deserving of a monetary reward for my work.

I am still nervous about it, I’m nervous my stall won’t be successful, I’m nervous people won’t understand what I’m showcasing. But I’m trying to put those feelings aside and have fun, interact with other creators and just give myself and my work a chance.

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